THE one.

I'm sorry this isn't going to be a usual post, but hopefully something people can understand and maybe relate to it (but also give sympathy for those people who have been in this position).

I don't really talk about relationships, and where that gets you. But going to have a shot at it:
You fall in love, you fall in love for all the right reasons, you fall because you want that person to catch you. You don't fall because you want to feel the pain of landing without a parachute. So why is it such a crime to love someone who doesn't love you back? There shouldn't be any shame or embarrassment about it, it should be seen as a moment where you show you're full trust in that person, so if they don't return it doesn't mean it's over. It doesn't mean a dead end. It just means that their trust isn't where yours is.

"If you can't go a day without thinking about them don't give up". 

You're my best friend. You may not be "perfect". You may not have the most articulate ways of expressing yourself. You maybe insensitive. You maybe completely hopeless. But you are you. And I love you for your flaws and you're stupid ways.

Your flaws are what makes you most captivating and unique, it isn't your downfall. 

No one is ever going to fill the space you leave. No one is going to be my childhood best friend. No one is going to remember all those stupid little things like you do. No one is going to have such an amazing family. No one is going to be you.

Letting you go...
Is it me being selfish trying to keep you, or just hopeful?
Are you going to be happier without me? Or with another girl?
Are you going to forget about me? Regret "us"?

So many questions, you create this bubble of self doubt. This self hatred that you let it get this bad, that you let yourself fall. Fall flat onto your face.

I know he is so perfect to me, even if he or everyone else doesn't see it.

I don't care what people think. 

How can you feel this way if you don't even get this love back? How can you feel so attached?

Every girl wants that happy ending. Every girl wants to find "THE ONE". Every girl wants to find her knight in shining armour. Every girl wants you to be their best friend. 

So don't play with my heart. 

Ellie. 

P.s Sorry for the rather large rant, that had no real structure, just another one of things that is filling my head up with mush, and just about the time I really need it before exams. SIGH. -.- 

Being human.

Human instincts can make you challenge yourself, and how you really feel about something. Everyone shares the same fears and aspirations (in a generalised way). The fear of the unknown, the fear or rejection, the fear of betrayal.

But it doesn't just stop there, although everyone has experienced these fears their way of handling their fears can be compltely different. As could their way of showing love, hate (the awful clichés there!), grief and contentment. Sometimes these emotions are clouded by how they react to their feelings. You must think that this all seems so obvious but you do have those moments when you realise you would never react that way to what happens. But should you let them carry on hurting themselves or other people because of their reactions? Do you stop them from acting out how they truly feel?

Just writing this and thinking about how I would react to something horrifying or (the complete opposite) something so amazing you can't even believe it's true. I am listening to "Are we Human or are we Dancers" By the Killers. I know this song is old, and I would post this on my blog with a link but I don't know if we share the same music taste! But it just reminds me of how we expect to be living like glamorous dancers like we see in music videos, but in reality we have ups and downs, and with that we have our own way of dealing with these.

I mean for me I deal with stress in ways most people would think was mad, when I am stressed I work. A lot. I know most people would feel the stress from already working too much, or feeling the pressure from all their coursework/bills/work what ever it is. But for me tackling something head on and fighting for it makes it less scary, it already feels like you have taken away the pressure because you are closer to finishing. You are closer to what you have always aimed to do.

I question you... How would you handle something you really didn't want to know? How do you react to something upsetting? How do you comfort someone who is hurting someone else due to their own clouded feelings?

So just as a final point; if you ever feel like you are overflowing with emotions think about how your reactions make an impact on others. More then likely you didn't even know you had people ready to comfort you at any point, but you over looked them due to wearing "blinkers" and only thinking about the now. Think about things in perspective, everyone handles things differently, but you don't have to be the one who brings others down because of your own grief or problems.

Ellie.
(I apologise for the more hard hitting post today!)