It's gone. It's all gone.
All the motivation, all the looking forward to finishing everything. Just gone.
I've got to the point with some things that I just want to give up, there seems to be no rewarding feeling after finishing anything any more. Looking back and thinking I have wasted so much of my time with something I feel no pleasure with, or something that won't even help me in the future.
It just has to be the time that I need all the motivation I have to focus on everything I am doing, with exams coming up, the stress everyone is beginning to feel. So why do when I need it most that those feelings are never there?
Is it just trying to annoy me or just to be ironic?
Sat here, wondering what I have to drag myself through next to finish. It's like I can feel myself dragging my feet, determined to do anything remotely constructive. I finally know what it feels like to procrastinate to a complete extreme.
The dread of the last two days of the holidays- getting everything ready for the last term of school. The dread of forgetting something, or not doing well enough.
Filled with dread for the days ahead...
Ellie.
(Sorry, for the short and uninspiring post- I just thought I would do a reality check on my more up beat "inspiration" and motivation is everything. While in the real world having those constant feelings are nothing but tiring! )
