A solitary tear.

That moment you just want to break down. When you realise that you can't do anything better than just cry. But yet you still have that ashamed feeling of being completely useless, that you can do nothing productive, nothing meaningful or worth while. But cry.

I guess this is just an after thought to all the times I have cried for all the wrong reasons. Crying for people that shouldn't mean something to you, crying for someone who never really cared. But I guess it's just human nature to hope and expect the feeling to be mutual, that caring to be mutual.

why do we always have that ashamed feeling that comes with just letting things go just for once? Isn't it better to let things out than let them eat away at you? So why is it such a weakness to let people in and see you cry?


Ellie. - just a thought. 

Art beyond a photo.

So most of you have seen my artwork, but all of it has been some what conventional and predictable- a couple of sketches and some photos. But I wanted to show that your creativity doesn't limit you by your media, and that it doesn't even have to be a picture, or artwork. But something that is meaningful to you that can expresses how you feel. I think I should put some abstract pieces on here at some point, but I'm not sure how many people will actually understand what I have created or what it means to me. So it may be too personal to truly interpret any ways! But it's something I would like to see your reaction on.

But enough with the boring introduction and organising my blog out for normal people to understand why I have done everything. And on with what I wanted to create differently today!
I wanted to create something that wasn't a picture, and it should hopefully tie up with a recent post on "A picture can speak a thousand words"- But don't worry it's not going to be a thousand words... Hopefully.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, 

Why am I doing this to myself?

Yeah, I forget about the consequences

and now and then I get insecure,

More the pain,

I'm so ashamed.

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while,

I don't care what they say.

Someone told me I should take caution.

But today is where your book begins, 

The rest is still unwritten.

I guess this is more a of a tribute to all those artists who don't just write about girls and parties. But to those artists that inspire the good in us, to be something really inspiring and influential. I hope you can recognise most lines and artists mentioned.

Ellie. 

A picture can speak a thousand words.

"A picture can speak a thousand words"- probably everyone has heard this saying at one point in their life, but can a picture really capture everything that is to be said in a thousand words just by that millisecond of taking that photo?

What about the fact that "actions speak more than words" doesn't that mean that actions mean more than that picture holding 1000 words? How can simple actions be more than those well thought out words trying to express everything to someone else?
But maybe these are just opinions on what people prefer more- actions, words or just a millisecond slice of it- And really depends on the situation.

Personally little actions do speak more than words for me, think about a time when someone has really made you smile. Was it because they were writing a long essay to you, or just because they made you feel safe with something simple as a smile towards you? I think body language can speak more than words, if someone is saying sorry but not looking in your eyes you wouldn't believe that they are truly sorry, and in that aspect I think body language can make either the perfect moment or break it completely. Showing that the words of pictures have to be followed by the good intentions of the actions, so without the action in the first place there wouldn't be that same feeling and love within those loving words or picture.

I love standing back and watching those perfect moments unfold, just like in the romantic films you see.
Where the guy is always the caring gentleman, the woman is always vulnerable but strong willed- and together they make it through everything.

That kind of love doesn't need those long essays, or constant reminders of how much they mean to each other. They are just reminded by the fact they feel safe knowing that they are there together, and those little actions of constant selflessness for the other person just shows how they feel. I think every girl has the same feeling- wanting their guy to be their knight in shining armour.

Sorry for the soppy post today, I think I needed it against all my rather cynical posts!

Ellie.

Being human.

Human instincts can make you challenge yourself, and how you really feel about something. Everyone shares the same fears and aspirations (in a generalised way). The fear of the unknown, the fear or rejection, the fear of betrayal.

But it doesn't just stop there, although everyone has experienced these fears their way of handling their fears can be compltely different. As could their way of showing love, hate (the awful clichés there!), grief and contentment. Sometimes these emotions are clouded by how they react to their feelings. You must think that this all seems so obvious but you do have those moments when you realise you would never react that way to what happens. But should you let them carry on hurting themselves or other people because of their reactions? Do you stop them from acting out how they truly feel?

Just writing this and thinking about how I would react to something horrifying or (the complete opposite) something so amazing you can't even believe it's true. I am listening to "Are we Human or are we Dancers" By the Killers. I know this song is old, and I would post this on my blog with a link but I don't know if we share the same music taste! But it just reminds me of how we expect to be living like glamorous dancers like we see in music videos, but in reality we have ups and downs, and with that we have our own way of dealing with these.

I mean for me I deal with stress in ways most people would think was mad, when I am stressed I work. A lot. I know most people would feel the stress from already working too much, or feeling the pressure from all their coursework/bills/work what ever it is. But for me tackling something head on and fighting for it makes it less scary, it already feels like you have taken away the pressure because you are closer to finishing. You are closer to what you have always aimed to do.

I question you... How would you handle something you really didn't want to know? How do you react to something upsetting? How do you comfort someone who is hurting someone else due to their own clouded feelings?

So just as a final point; if you ever feel like you are overflowing with emotions think about how your reactions make an impact on others. More then likely you didn't even know you had people ready to comfort you at any point, but you over looked them due to wearing "blinkers" and only thinking about the now. Think about things in perspective, everyone handles things differently, but you don't have to be the one who brings others down because of your own grief or problems.

Ellie.
(I apologise for the more hard hitting post today!)