Stress.

Most people have nightmares about not being able to run away from someone or something. Or the feeling of falling waking you up. Or being sat in an exam not having an clue why you are even there.

Those sleepless nights where your brain keeps ticking away and you can't get any real sleep because you are so focused on what you need to do, and what you should of already done better. 

I don't know whether it's my brain telling me I need to be better, do better, push myself to who I can really be, or my brain just not being able to let me rest, and stop thinking about everything. But whatever sleepless nights are because of it doesn't help the amount of stress that everyone goes through. Sleep deprivation on top of the stress isn't helping, so why do we have it as a human instinct? 

I think most people agree that sleep is their own way of having "me time", so why is it that when you really need that "me time" you never seem to get any? It really does confuse me, how does this design in evolution help anything? 

My usual ways of de-stressing is eating lots of ice cream, or anything that puts a smile on my face. But I just don't feel up for making myself feel lazy and sick by eating too much! Other than that I go shopping, or do my work but neither seem to have the same satisfaction as they did before, I guess the sleep deprivation has had me on edge for quite a while. 

I know so many people who have stressful points in their lives, where they just want to sit in a dark room for hours just shutting the world out. The feeling of regret as you wake up in the morning after a completely sleep less night, but you can't do anything but smile and hope that no one notices the fact that you have yawned more then 10 times in the last half an hour. 

I guess it just shows strength in character not to run away from all the obstacles thrown at you, but to face them and try you hardest every single time.

I know I don't usually do personal posts, but I thought I would do something that I felt for at the moment. I just wanted to show that everyone has the same emotions thrown at them one way or another, but the way we deal with them as individuals and as a community makes us who we are. 

Ellie.

Bereavement: a fancy name for grief.

Everyone at some point in their lives has had to deal with death, that makes it sound like everyone has met the grim reaper! But everyone has had different experiences with it, whether it is the natural way of life, or that death is just an envitiable part of life... Destruction.

All those movies making death seem like just another step, a step every living thing takes. But the way death is portrayed can vary so much between different films or even percieved by different people. For example if you watch some action film where there is implied or actual torture the value of all the characters lives go down because people are so willing to kill or cause pain to a character. If you compare that against a movie that purposefully gets you attached to a character to then find out they have died or have been injured, you feel so much more for that person (or even animal).

But no matter how you may feel about death and how you deal with it, every human has gone through some sort of experience with death. So you should never feel alone, but being alone in a world full of the same people: full of people who are similar to you, full of people who have gone through what you have gone through.

Everyone has their own way with dealing with situations, and everyone may have slightly different perceptions of death. But never feel alone. I know that is easier said than to be done (as most things are) but there is help out there; you don't have to be alone. Getting help, or even admitting to needing someone to help you isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being strong enough to admit and begin to pick up he pieces. Be an inspiration for others out there who are dealing with the same pains as you.

You can be your own inspiration.

Ellie

I finally found it!

This is a day of finding things! Talk about fate!... Although I'm not even sure if I believe in it myself.

But today I found the link for the photo I saw on facebook that went with one of my earliest posts on inspirational people. It was a woman fighting against cancer, and showing her strength. It is beautiful, and something I wish I could be more like.

Here is the picture I have been so hung up on for months!

It leaves me speechless even thinking about this photograph, my thoughts are with her.
The link:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=242895642455307&set=a.124405720970967.25094.124215567656649&type=1&theater

I also received my prom dress in the post! At first I was sceptical of the whole idea of getting dressed up for a evening of teenagers trying to act formal. So I didn't spend much on it, but it is simple and elegant. So Hopefully Prom will live up to everyone else's expectations more than mine!

Sorry for the boring post, it was more of an update. :)

Ellie